Behind Abominable Advent Calendar Door 12, grumpy cop Rutger Hauer is annoyed by his new rookie partner, chases aliens through sewers, and is put upon by pigeons.

Behind Abominable Advent Calendar Door 10, a ragtag bunch of reluctant and ridiculous heroes takes on a dangerous mission to rescue four generals held by the Japanese in Luxemburg during WWII. Naturally they face Amazons, cannibals, and jiangshi. As you do. In Luxemburg.

James Bennett, writer and star of Fatal Deviation, can imitate Jean-Claude Van Damme’s famous splits-in-the-doorway move, but his writing and line delivery have all the energy of a plate of cold chips. And that's what makes this movie glorious.

Zachariah is an old-west psychedelic rock retelling of Siddhartha. Yeah, you've seen dozens of those, but have you seen one with Don Johnson and a Elvin Jones drum solo?

Take Jaws, replace the shark with a wampa, move the setting to a ski resort, and you get Snowbeast, which is like the much bloodier, marginally sexier, grown-up version of Scooby Doo vs. the Snow Ghost.