Abominable Advent Calendar Day 14: The Mole People (1956)
Crapsterpiece Category: B-Movie Badness
Heads up: horrible history, John Agar love scenes
When it comes to b-movies, The Mole People has it all, and it’s dialed up to 11. The film kicks off in grand b-movie style with the tried-and-true “we’re establishing credibility here!” trope of a fake scientist droning on about fake science—in this case the hollow earth theory—complete with poster and pointer. But then we’re on to the adventure bits, and Leave It to Beaver’s Hugh Beaumont, Nestor Paiva from Creature from the Black Lagoon, and the smarmy king of b-movies himself, John Agar, discover a living Sumerian society hidden in the improbably hollow earth that the narrator has just helpfully described for us.
The Sumerians have a king, but the real power is the scheming high priest Elinu, played by Alan Napier (Alfred from the Batman TV series), attempting to retain his dignity in a headdress that he might have stolen from Cher. They’ve never seen the sun and worship the “Light of Ishtar,” which they keep behind a big door and around which the film builds considerable dread. They’ve also enslaved the monstrous Mole People to harvest underground mushrooms as sustenance, and the Mole People occasionally rebel against being beaten and starved by taking take some mushrooms or a human and burrowing into the earth.
When the human population grows too large to sustain, the Sumerians sacrifice young women to the Light of Ishtar, after they’ve performed some interpretive dance with their hair done up like CindyLou Who, because b-movie. Agar, Paiva, and Beaumont want to escape to the surface again—Agar with one of the Sumerian women, because John Agar. But Elinu wants to secure his hold on power by stealing Agar’s most powerful weapon in their dark world: his flashlight.
So why is this so much fun? Agar is at his cheesy, sleazy best, and if you’ve never seen a John Agar movie, this is the one to start with. The Mole People are classic b-movie monsters. The sets and the “Sumerian” society are all sorts of wrong historically, but actually kind of cool otherwise; the film creates an imaginative alternative world. Alan Napier obviously knows what he’s doing is pure crap, but he sells it well. And you have to love dialog like, “The thing that impresses me the most is the complete and utter silence. You can almost hear it.” And “This one died as a result of a blow from a heavy blunt instrument. That’s a sign of higher civilization.” Check it out. And make sure your flashlight has fresh batteries.
