Abominable Advent Calendar Day 12: Split Second (1992)
Crapsterpiece Category: B-Movie Badness
Heads up: blood, guts, breasts
In the oh-so-far future of 2008, London is sort of flooded because of environmental stuff that’s never explained or fully explored, and Rutger Hauer is a grumpy cop with a rookie partner, just like every other grumpy cop with a rookie partner in every other ‘80s or ‘90s cop movie, except his partner is Alasdair Duncan, who is far more amusing than most. Hauer has been cursed with a semi-psychic connection with the killer, which allows him to sense where the next murder might be, but to his frustration and the plot’s benefit (sort of), it doesn’t give him enough information to stop them from happening.
His search is complicated by the return of his ex-girlfriend (Kim Cattrall), who also happens to be the ex-wife of his ex-partner; having the requisite bureaucratic crap thrown at him by the powers-that-be at the station, played by the excellent and underused Pete Postlewaite and Alun Armstrong; and the fact that the killer is most likely not human.
There are some amusing character performances, but the whole thing never quite gels, and it feels disjointed and off kilter most of the time. It’s a lurching Frankenstein patched together from bits of Predator, Lethal Weapon, Alien, and several other films that are far better than it is. It also can’t decide if it wants to be dark and bitter or cool or quirky. When Hauer goes to rescue Cattrall from the clutches of the beast—which is essentially Spawn—the ending is wild and violent and doesn’t make a lot of sense, but like the rest of the film it’s the kind of WTF that’s fun to watch with b-movie loving friends and a beer.
